I Gud @ Photo Shoppe!

Johnny Depp's Island Taken Over by a Somali Pirate

2009-07-09T23:03:00.000-07:00

I recently learned that Johnny Depp actually owns an island in the Caribbean, and I think that is freaking cool. As I was talking to my boyfriend about this, I mentioned how ironic it'd be if an actual modern day pirate decided he wanted to take over Johnny's island. I then commenced to act out a little skit for him, making Johnny look like a wuss (no offense to him, of course. I love Johnny!) I also acted the skit out for my nerdy co-workers, but it really was a "you had to be there the first time" sort of thing, so it didn't pan out as well at work. I did decide that I should make a Foto Shoppe about it, so here it is. I listened to the "Dead Man's Chest" soundtrack to get into pirate mode. Click the pictures to enlarge if need be.

"It was pitchy, Dawg" t-shirt

2009-02-25T21:59:00.001-08:00

I don't relish in admitting this, but Jeremy and I watch "American Idol". Yes, it's true. We don't vote or anything (until tonight, when I pop my AI voting cherry with Normund Gentle), we just like to hear what Simon has to ssay. It started by watching the hilarious auditions and then became invested (in Normund Gentle).

Tonight while watching, after many "dawg"s, "yo"s and "good looking outs", Jeremy decided there should be a Talk Like Randy Jackson Day. I laughed at this though, Talk Like Randy Jackson Day being as popular as Talk Like A Pirate Day. A few minutes later, after Randy told someone they were pitchy, I came up with an ingenious idea. "I want a t-shirt with Randy Jackson's face on it that says, "It was pitchy, Dawg." We laughed. Laughed. Tears came to my eyes. Here is my crude Photo Shoppe interpretation for your enjoyment:

The Current State of Sushi

2007-10-18T23:13:00.001-07:00

My cat Sushi was spayed this morning. I decided to show you as accurately as I could Sushi's condition after her surgery:

1. E-collar, which she continues to try to back out of. Makes eating interesting.
2. Dilated pupils due to her medication.
3. She feels high and acts out of it. Due to how high she is on buprenorphine. It is 30 times the strength of morphine.
4. Her cute little belly was shaved.
5. The scar from the incision. Aww.
6. Her unusually ungraceful style of sitting.
7. Her shaved spot on her arm due to the catheter being placed.

Awwww.

Paul Kariya Leaves Nashville

2007-08-17T00:51:00.001-07:00

Paul Kariya, whom was my favorite player not only because he looked good, but because he was also a good player, left my team in July. After saying over and over that he'd love to be back if Nashville will have him. Of course they wanted him back, but he left, saying his decision was due to the uncertainty of The Predators' future. I'm sure the Green had a little to do with it as well.

Anyway, I haven't been taking his departure very well. Every time I think I've gotten over it, his name will come up and I will curse him all over again. I really want to forgive him, but it's going to take time, obviously. I hope this will help me get my anger out. Either this or watching him get his ass kicked on the ice against Nashville. Either way.

"I just want to warn you that when I wrote this I was listening to The Cure a lot". (Click images for larger view).

Tim and Eric Fan Art

2007-06-07T21:50:00.000-07:00

I have a Tim and Eric (Heidecker and Wareheim, respectfully) MySpace (and LiveJournal, actually) group and Julie Self started a fan art thread there two years ago. If you didn't know Julie Self, she seemed really cool. I never got to know her, but mutual comedian friends have told me that we would've gotten along so well. She unfortunately died in a car accident along with a friend not too long after she started the thread. Not much happened in the thread for two years, then it was all of the sudden resurrected by the new wave of Tim and Eric fans. The point was to make the fan art as awful as we could. Here are mine that I made:

From June 7, 2005. The joke here is that I say that Tim is Eric and Eric is Tim:

And these are from yesterday. If you don't watch "Tim and Eric's Awesome Show, Great Job!" on [adult swim], you won't get these:

To see fan art not done by me, go to the MySpace thread.

Leave Your Demon Spawn Home

2007-06-03T15:18:00.001-07:00

My boyfriend and I went shopping yesterday. This is something that's usually fun to do, but things can ruin such a fun, leisurely activity, even when you are finding cute things to buy. One of the biggest things that can ruin a fun shopping experience: crying kids and the parents that let them scream. (Click images to see larger view):

Untitled Woman Post

2007-03-03T01:27:00.000-08:00

You can probably tell how I feel right now. Disclaimer: No, my boyfriend didn't do anything wrong.

My Cats are Still Assholes

2007-02-26T22:04:00.000-08:00

They're spoiled, they wake me up at night, yet will take any kindness I give them!

Click image for larger view.

My Asshole Cats

2007-01-23T23:29:00.000-08:00

My cats are basically assholes. They sleep most of the day, then at three a.m, they wake up and go insane. They usually do this every night, keeping me awake. What an asshole thing to do. Click images for larger view.

Sad Louis

2006-11-30T23:21:00.000-08:00

Lately, whenever there is a Nashville Predators game that is broadcast by the other team's local station, the announcers still talk about how great we are. The announcers for the St. Louis Blues did this, but more. If you didn't know any better, you would've thought that it was a Nashville Predators broadcast. All they did was talk about the players and the coach, and showed a feature on one of our players. Due to a snow storm, there was a small crowd at the game, so when they showed the "Party Zone", there were just two guys looking bored to death, one in a Dallas Stars jersey. And after our player, Jordin Tootoo got into a fight with one of their guys and was sent to his office, er, penalty box, the announcers started talking about how Nashville didn't deserve to be where they are in the standings. It was all quite amusing. I condensed and exaggerated the night greatly in the following Photoshops (click images for larger view):

The Lottery Ticket

2006-11-21T20:54:00.000-08:00

I asked a friend what he wanted for Christmas and he said a lottery ticket. Click image for larger view:

How Jeremy (Really) Got Out of Jury Duty

2006-11-16T11:19:00.000-08:00

My boyfriend, Jeremy, had to report to the courthouse downtown for Jury Duty earlier this week. He showed up to find fourty-four other potential jurors. He sat around all day watching people be interviewed with questions about if they had any prejudices against any sort of drug, if they knew anyone in law enforcement, etc. Jeremy never even got interviewed because he was to be the fourty second person to be interviewed, but they only needed twelve jurors. Of course, they had all been picked by the time they got to him. But this is how I like to think Jeremy would've handled the situation so that he would not have to serve on the jury. Note, this came from my own head, this is nothing that Jeremy would actually do. Click on the images for larger views.

The Stick of Kariya 11/07/2006

2006-11-14T19:33:00.000-08:00

I was talking to one of my BFF's and fellow Nashville Predators fan, David, about the Predators. He told me that when he went to the team's locker room, he heard that Paul Kariya is very superstitious about his hockey stick. He wraps it a certain number of times and cuts the tape at a certain angle, and absolutely no one but Paul Kariya is allowed to touch it. When David saw the stick, he said it looked perfect. David did tell me that he resisted, but I couldn't help but imagine what would happen if only. Thus, came this series of Photoshops (click images for larger view);

The Future 10/27/2006

2006-11-14T19:26:00.000-08:00

I don't really care for the new NBC show "Heroes". I find it a bit ridiculous that they have a character who has to shoot up heroin in order to see the future. I told my friend in Nashville, David, that I was going to shoot up some heroin and see the future, specifically when I go visit Nashville for Christmas (click image for larger view):

Womens' Magazine 07/17/2006

2006-11-14T19:23:00.000-08:00

I hate women's magazines. I think that they help make women feel bad and give them bad self-esteem. I think that the advice columns are the work of the devil. Click images for larger view.

Transspecied #1 and #2 07/04-06/2006

2006-11-14T19:15:00.000-08:00

I came up with the idea for this comic, which I intended to be a series, one night while playing with my cat. I randomly thought about what it'd be like if my boyfriend and I decided to pretend my cat was actually a puppy. Then, during insomnia, I came up with the idea for the first comic, then soon after, the second one. I never made any more because I never thought of another idea, and I don't like to try to force them. If another Transspecied episode pops up, perhaps I'll make more (click images to see larger view):

Here's #1:

And #2: